What delays you? Step 2 to Change Your Life


Written by Hokuma Karimova

On October 20, 2020

Ever felt like you are having a conversation with someone, yet no matter how close you are standing, the distance between you keeps growing?

It’s even possible that every attempt you make to bridge the gap just makes things worse.

This is common when people embody different communication styles.

The trick is to learn how to speak from the perspective that the other person might understand. However, most of us are unaware that there are different styles.

Giving perfect explanation to why the more we try to emphasize and highlight our point of view, the more uncomfortable, irritable and angry the conversation becomes.

This is where Step 2 comes into play.
Ask yourself: What delays you?

Aftermath of conflict

When conflicts arise in our family, friendship or romantic dynamics, things become hard to process and accept. Small misunderstandings can blow up into huge problems. The added drama and stress can turn life into living hell.

Countless nights are spent contemplating what was said. Endless energy is invested in replaying the scenes of the past, with hopes it will bring clarity on how to solve it. Yet, nothing can erase the real problem – the discomfort that we feel within.

Sometimes, people can use this pressure to manipulate, guilt trip and shame us. Falsely implying that we alone are responsible for what happened. Even if it was beyond our control.

Most of the time, the need to project our problems on to others, or even the opposite, the habit of blaming ourselves, comes from hidden self-limiting beliefs that are left unexplored in the unconscious corners of our mind.

A place where uncomfortable experiences are buried, awaiting our love to be released.
This is the source of all the discomfort that gets activated during conflicts.

In these moments, the wounds that make us feel unlovable are screaming for approval.

To identity these limiting self-beliefs reflect on:
– What is difficult for me to communicate?
– What does my energy level reveal about me?
– How are my relationships influencing my feelings?

Healing the wound

This sense of inadequacy is present in most human beings and is the big culprit of why individuals become so reactive.

By learning to embody a more open form of communication, where we leave room for listening, speaking without interruption, looking to understand other perspectives rather than defend our own, opens space for healing and connection.

Through this mutual desire for reciprocity, we begin to trust again, and integrate unprocessed emotions, leading to emotional and spiritual wholeness.

Being the first person to change is not easy, but it is vital for leading the way towards harmony.

Analyze what patterns of tension you notice in the following areas

Life areas to look at:
*family dynamics
*communication styles
*energy level

Where to start?

Having some kind of roadmap in a completely new territory is helpful in navigating difficult situations. Without some guidance or reassurance, we feel lost, hopeless, nervous and fearful.

If you are ready to understand your style of communication through a lens of scientifically proven frameworks, then don’t miss the free Doorway to Knowing Yourself mini-course that gives you all the essential points for communicating difficult feelings with ease.

Healing is not only possible but undeniable when we intentionally walk towards it.

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